Letter to Many People?
I admit, if I had known that blog was going to encourage people, I would have put MUCH more care into things I said and I would have said more.
Here’s what’s missing:
What we really need is not pills or hope of a cure but love and support. We need people around us who care, attempt to understand and actively try to help - even just by “being there” for the person sick. These diseases make us feel alone because there’s a divide between “healthy” and “sick.” The “healthy” seem to think that the “sick” are making it up for attention and tend to walk out from either frustration with the patient or from the feeling of “i can’t do anything about it.” These diseases are bad enough - we don’t need you walking out on us too.
If you have someone in your life who is chronically ill and you feel that you can’t do anything about it - you’re WRONG. You may not be able to cure the disease but you can ease their suffering. Let me say that again, that was good…
YOU MAY NOT BE ABLE TO CURE THEIR DISEASE BUT YOU CAN EASE THEIR SUFFERING!
I want to say something to everyone with an illness who feels they’re alone - YOU ARE NOT ALONE. Millions of people feel this way. DO NOT give up. I know, it makes it worse, it makes you depressed, I understand and I have been there. It does get better.
I also want to say something to everyone with someone in their family who is chronically ill (whether you believe it or not): I don’t care what the diagnosis is they are not making a fuss over nothing. Your job as someone in their life that they care about (family, friends, boyfriend, girlfriend, best friend,etc) is to support them.
You’re supposed to care about them, to try and understand what they are going through and - what I feel we need the most - is try to go through it with them. IF there are days where they can’t get out of bed - go see them at home. If you live with them (spouses…) jump in bed with them and watch whatever they’re watching.(Side note: DO NOT make it about you and attempt to get sex. That will NOT leave this person feel cared about. More like used.)
Love is an action word, people. It’s time we started acting like it.
PS To those caregivers who DO get it: Thank you for understanding that they wouldn’t be like this if they got a choice. Thank you for understanding that even if you can’t fix it - you can help it. It’s not so bad when you have someone with you to carry the load.