Many chronic patients who have been sick for a long time know that people have a hard time being supportive with chronic illness. You really find out who really cares about you enough to be around when things get tough. You find that people would rather blame you for it than accept that you’re chronically sick. They’ll say things like “learn to deal with it” or “it’s all in your head” or “stop complaining, you’re always sick!”
Eventually, you’ll find that these people tend to jump ship out of frustration and don’t come around anymore. They abandon you because they get so angry with what they feel is constant excuses for a made up illness meant to get attention. I know. I’ve done it. I’ve also been the victim of it.
So what do the chronically Ill do in response? Two things: allow them to leave and eventually end up alone or with very few friends or they try and fake healthy. I do a combination of both. I let those relationships go of people that were supposed to be friends and certain family members and I also fake healthy. I fake healthy day to day in public. Every one of my classmates do not need to know what’s going on with me. Once people see you as sick - that’s all they see you as. So a lot of people tend to fake healthy consciously or not in order to maintain certain relationships.
I know I do this and have talked to others who do it as well. We put up a wall around others and act like we’re not tired and it doesn’t hurt. Like everything is fine. But it’s not and if you aren’t sick you wouldn’t believe how much energy that drains from us. There’s a reason that fibromyalgia and other chronically ill patients have a stigma attached of people who stay in bed all the time. The reason for that is partially due to the illness and partially due to this. Sometimes, we need downtime. A place to go where no one will bug us, we won’t be criticized for crying or just to recover from the days activities.
In my next blog I’ll explore my thoughts on why chronically ill people sometimes may have trouble sleeping in days they aren’t in pain.
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- the-urban-prince answered: my mom is the exact opposite, she has kidney disease, but sometimes i think she won’t tell us if something’s wrong.
- kaitmarie answered: I don’t think people understand the social aspect of not being healthy. Sometimes it’s the most difficult part of having a chronic illness.
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- cuckoocourt answered: very true! I use this all the time…I usually just refer to myself as a spring admit in order to prevent long awkward convos
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- aliewa answered: YES YES YES. This is my life to a tee. So glad to meet someone else who has fibro and understands! :) My story’s on my page
- p2hot answered: You aint never lied. My problem is I’m bipolar and my family still don’t respond well…3 yrs since diagnosis.
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- awesomeintegrities answered: I don’t usually feel like a burden, just that it’s pointless to explain and the outcome usually results in people assuming I’m weak.
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- indiegoddess answered: Hey, I’m in the same boat. You can always complain to me. It’s only fair. We feel too guilty about relying on people. We need to be human, 2.
- hopeisrisingfromtheashes answered: I’ve also faked healthy, & not faked healthy. As someone with bipolar&etc. and fibro… it’s tough.
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- hellobitchpudding answered: You aren’t alone sweetheart. Talk to us. We understand. *internet hug*
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